Ok, here we are day three of the seven-day seven things (one thing per day) that I would say to my mom if I could. Most of the things are those that I have learned during my own journey as a parent. You know, the hindsight is 20/20 kind of stuff. Things that as a child you don’t realize life is going to throw your way as an adult. I like to think of it as meeting my kid karma. When situations occur in my adult life, particularly in my parenting moments – the good, the bad, and the ugly – I can usually flashback to a moment or many moments in my childhood that set the stage. Kid karma greets me with a devilish smile, “Hey, remember me? Remember what you did all those years ago? Well, now it’s time to pay the piper and I have chosen your two boys to help me with that.” Thank you kindly kid karma, but I will pass. Karma can be a five-letter word (literally it is I know, but in this case I am referring the figurative five-letter word) and it ain’t “happy” folks. So what does kid karma have to do with day three thing three? Well, I could come clean on a few things that I pulled between the kid and teenage years, but there is one situation in particular where kid karma has decided to hold my feet to the fire during my journey as a parent…

#3 I am soooo sorry for never getting out of bed in the morning when you asked me to. Mom, if I could go back in time I would get out of bed every time, on time, the first time you asked. Really, I swear. Ok, well I would try. Who I am kidding – I can’t even get out of bed now without hitting snooze five times. I would have the good intention of getting out of bed on time. Why you ask? Well, that all has to do with your grandson, the eleven-year old prepubescent ticking time bomb who from the first day of kindergarten had to be dragged out of bed to get ready for school. I can hear you already, “Oh not him, my sweet, dear little Bubbaroo.” But, I am telling you, six years later nothing has changed. Every morning I gently try to wake him by rubbing his back or talking softly. I turn on his dimly lit lamp. I lay his clothes out for him (maybe I shouldn’t mention that in a public forum being that he is “big time” in junior high and all). It’s all quiet and peaceful and nice. He will stir a bit and say “ok mom” and so I leave his room to move on to whatever is next. About ten minutes later I return to his room only to find him completely back under his covers, mouth wide open, out cold. Ugh. So round two beings. I’m not as gentle and it’s not as peaceful.  I shake his shoulders a little bit this time and pull his covers off him completely and throw them across the room so he would actually have to get out of bed to get them. Now, I raise my voice a bit from my first attempt. He responds, “Ok, ok I’m up.” Finally. Good, so I move on. Ten minutes later, I check again. Now this is where one of two things happens. He has either 1) pulled the fitted sheet off of his mattress and crawled into that or he has 2) made his way to the blankets that I have thrown on the floor and crawled into those. Either scenario – mouth open, out cold. So, this is where it get’s serious…now on come the bright lights of the bedroom and I raise my voice to full volume. And depending on where he is, under the fitted sheet or on the floor, I pull him out of bed by his legs (he doesn’t like that one so much) or I pick him up off of the floor. This last-ditch effort was all well and good until this year. Because he is, in fact, heading into puberty he is growing. And he is getting heavy. And I don’t think am going to be able to physically pull him out of bed or pick him up off of the floor for much longer. By the way, once we have reached this last scenario it’s usually the end of it. Twenty minutes later, sometimes twenty five. We do this five days a week. Most people look forward to the weekends because it’s break from work. Me, I look forward to the weekend because I don’t have to deal with my kid not wanting to get out bed. So Mom, having gone through this tirade five days a week for the last six years and anticipating that it will continue until he leaves for college (and he will leave), I must apologize for being such a complete pain in the ass in this regard. It is so exhausting and so annoying. But please be assured Mom, that kid karma has come full circle. In the form of a little boy, who just like his mom, doesn’t like to get out of bed in the morning.

So, I quickly realized what was happening when this started six years ago. I was getting paid back. And did I deserve it. I was awful. My mom would try to wake me and I wouldn’t move. And then of course enter teenage years and things just got ugly. I had an alarm clock, but I was always shut it off. So she would come into my room, tell me it was time to get up for school and I am pretty sure that every time I yelled back “I know! Ugh, get out of my room!” Ok, maybe not exactly those words, but something awful and snotty and teenage-like no doubt. So maybe what I need to do is to get ahead of this.  If kid karma wants to play, well, I can play back. Perhaps I need to think back and make a list of all the things that I pulled that might come back around through my boys. Then I can prepare for Battle de Kid Karma. Ah, who am I kidding. I don’t stand a chance. I might as well just prepare to take my lumps. Moral of the story – a little more foresight a little less hindsight. For what it’s worth.


Child sleeps

Director of some corporate stuff who happens to like writing a lot and other creative outlets - like karaoke - even though she is quite certain those in the room with her while she sings wished she didn't like it so much... Runner of all distances, but prefers longer distances as God gave her the gift of endurance not speed... Mother of two boys and two dogs, who on most days, are perfectly sweet and good...mostly.

4 Comment on “Seven Years – Day Three

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