When I first started this blogging project a few years ago I would get sooo stressed when thinking of topics to write about. I’d make a list, I’d edit the list, I’d tell myself that the list was no good and that my writing was horrible and that I should just jump ship and spare those who know and love me the pain of actually having to read my ramblings. And then I wouldn’t post anything for weeks. Scratch that – I wouldn’t post for months. Rinse and repeat. Then my friend Benny and I started this blogging “challenge” I’ll call it. And so, since I now have a deadline (more importantly a commitment to my friend) I have to post. And if I have to post, then I have to have topics. And this week I found myself back in those same non-productive habits and routines of jotting down ideas, criticizing said ideas, and following that up with a giant dose of self-criticism. So, true to fashion, yesterday I was driving along having a conversation with myself that was something along the lines of…
Hey dummy, you need to come up with a topic because you need to post tomorrow. Yeah, yeah I know, but I got nothing. Well, I have some ideas but they are stupid. And no one is gonna want to read about those stupid ideas. Wow, yeah you’re right – those are stupid ideas. You should just quit blogging. In fact, you should probably delete your blog altogether.
But then something happened that’s never happened before. I stopped myself. I stopped the conversation in my head. I told myself no. Nope, we are not going down the road of beat yourself up because that’s what you do best. And without knowing where it came from, I just threw it out the universe or maybe God – not quite sure or maybe they’re one in the same. I stopped the self-sabotage and simply asked maybe even out loud I don’t recall – “hey, what the heck am I supposed to write about next?” And I left it at that. And you know what? I had my answer within an hour.
I happened to be on my way to see my dear friend, Vivian, who also happens to be my massage therapist. And perhaps my life therapist as well because we spend much of the time during massage covering off on rather important topics – you know like kids and relationships and work and lots of stuff in between. And as we talked yesterday she said at one point, “Well Lib, that’s because you’re becoming a wise woman.” I don’t even remember what exactly we were talking about that led to her comment. I just knew in an instant that was my topic. In fact, I had to interrupt her because I didn’t want to lose the thought. I said, “Hey Viv, I’m so sorry to jump in, but do you mind if I use that for my blog? The wise woman thing?” The wise woman thing. Within an hour I had my answer. I had my next topic.
Now, I have never thought of myself as a “wise” woman – heck I don’t think I’ve ever even considered it. But her comment struck a chord. Correction…her compliment struck a chord. Me – a wise woman? No way. Maybe? Kinda? So, that’s where we are headed over the next few posts. The journey of a wise woman. On becoming a wise woman. Inspired by a wise woman herself. And for the guys who follow along – stay with me – for I can only write from the vantage point of which I am familiar. But maybe just maybe we can all learn something along the way. For what it’s worth.